Eylül'De Aşklar - Mine Soysal itibaren Günışığı Kitaplığı içinde LIT biçim

Sam Claitor samclaitor — I liked this one very much.

Jin Jinny jinnipa — I've read so many positive reviews of this book, so I was a little shocked at my serious disliking of the book. I forced myself to finish the book despite feeling a mixture of negative emotions about the book. I came to one quote in her book nearing the end that said if you read a parenting book that makes you feel bad you should toss it out, and if you read one that makes you feel good then stick to what that one teaches. It was hard not to say halleluiah and toss hers right then and there, but I braced myself to finish it. First, let me say that if you want to read page after page of lamenting parents confessing that they want to kill their children, replaying their killing fantasies for the reader and confessing that they hate their children, then by all means- read this book. Second, if you need something to push you over the edge to convince you not to have children, or to reaffirm your world view that children are terrible, will ruin your life forever, and that people who have children are masochistic idiots, then this is definitely a good book for you. Now, that said, I want to say that I am not a crazy "everyone have babies! Lots of babies!" happy but in denial lunatic. For one of my final graduate school projects I compiled an extensive bibliography of Conscious Conception/Preconception materials and urged that public libraries create strong balanced collections to help parents make wise decisions *before* becoming pregnant, not just after they are already with child. I fully believe in Conscious Conception as a powerful way of controlling your decision process. I advocate that mother should prepare in every single way possible for the arrival of a child into their home. Physically, emotionally, financially, etc. to the best of her ability. I think that far, far too many women rush blindly, ignorantly, and unprepared into motherhood, sometimes not even rushing but accidentally falling in. I think we put more time into planning which car to buy than having children. Dr. Jeffer's book is in my bibliography and I think it will help those who do not want to have children be gently encouraged that they are making a wise decision. This is a positive step for allowing child-free people to feel as if they have made a socially acceptable choice. The book will also help those who hate their children and their life to know they are not alone. Oh gods how you are not alone! But, I disagree with the main underlying theme of her book about a "conspiracy of silence." I can only speak from my own world view, here deep in the south- but every woman with only perhaps 3 or 4 exceptions, have told me the "truth" about their children. That the mom's need space, need their own time, own projects, need quiet, need more support. That their children are needy, and are very brutally honest about what happens after the birth. They don't lie to you and tell you its all wonderful, as Jeffers claims, only to tell you "how awful it *really* is" after you actually have a baby (tricking you according to Jeffers). No, they're brutally forthright. I've never encountered this "conspiracy of silence." Mothers around me detail the horrors, the lows, and the disruptions that the new baby presents. I wonder if I am somehow living in a bubble of honesty in my state that doesn't reach where ever Jeffers is? Or is she living in a bubble of lies that doesn't reach as far as she thinks it does? It certainly isn't every single woman out there as Jeffers suggests. Perhaps it is a bigger problem than I might think, but I doubt it's as big a problem as she makes it out to be. She gives those screaming the second coming of Christ with REPENT signs on a street corner downtown a run for their money in enthusiasm and blind faith that the world is as she says. Except her signs say something like CONFESS LIARS! If she had even held a slightly more academic neutral tone in her writing I would have given her another star. I feel sorry for the apparent masses of women who still cling to myths that she "debunks" that I thought died decades ago. For them this book will do a good job to help them feel better about themselves. So it serves a purpose for some. For me however, someone who's already done some research, doesn't need to be coddled and told "the truth" and that I've "been lied to all these years" (because I haven't been, thank you very much) I disliked the book greatly. Lastly, it felt like the running gag in The Love Guru every time Jeffers would quote and plug her own books and writings ("In my book Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway I discuss (state, talk about, explain, etc.)) Ugh, I could just picture the Love Guru holding up his book and saying the same thing... jeeeze... And her titles almost have the same hokey ring to them as his did. It's humorous and annoying.